Tony's Spiritual Autobiography Pt 2

Tony's Spiritual Autobiography Part II

Article by Bro. Tony Bell

I was about sixteen when my family began looking for a new church home. We were searching for a Bible believing, Bible practicing church to settle down. I distinctly remember one church. Some representatives of that church came to meet us at home after our visit. They seemed excited to meet us and to convince us to join them. They said we were “their kind of people”. Something about that left a bad taste in our mouths. I had learned that while we are called to discern truth from deception, we are not called to discriminate. I don’t know what those people saw in us, but it was our decision as a family to keep searching.

James 2:1
My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. 

We visited West Side Missionary Baptist Church and heard the preaching of Pastor Ronald Bobo Sr. He delivered a fiery sermon that convicted and educated. I enjoyed it in a way that I had rarely enjoyed church. I was stirred.

We visited again the next Sunday and kept coming back until we finally made the decision to join the church. I was baptized at West Side. Though I had accepted Jesus at a young age, I never wanted to be baptized at Bible Way. I still cannot put my finger on why, but I believe that it had something to do with the spirit of that church.

West Side was considerably larger than Bible Way. I did not know anyone there and I was a shy teen. I got lost in the shuffle of it all and I was not very active in the church.

In college my walk became stagnant. I had accumulated a lot of head knowledge about God, but my relationship with Him was weak. I lacked the conviction to walk my faith and I led two lives. In one life I seemed to have a relationship with God, I knew all of the right things to say to keep up that appearance. In my other life I lived in a worldly way, gratifying my appetites as I saw fit. This inevitably led to stress and heartache. I was miserable. I have no one to blame but myself. If I had continued that way I was headed for certain disaster. My life was completely out of balance.

Isaiah 29:13
And the Lord said:
"Because this people draw near with their mouth and honor me with their lips, while their hearts are far from me, and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men,"

Early in my second second year of college I met a girl. Her name was Shonté. She was different from every other girl I’d ever encountered. She was smart, funny and gorgeous. And Shonté was a Christian! She had a genuine relationship with God and she lived by the convictions of her faith. This, more than anything else, caused me to reevaluate my relationship with God. I’d become comfortable with the idea that God was something I could put down and pick back up when I was older and had less to sacrifice. Seeing her rich and vivid relationship with God made mine seem very hollow and worthless. I decided that I needed to have a real relationship with God. I chose to sacrifice my worldly appetites and to stop leading a double life. I wanted to become a Godly man. This proved difficult...

Going back to pick up my cross… it was HEAVY! Do I really have to live like this ALL the time? Did I mention how heavy this cross is? My renewed relationship with God showed me that my temple was a corrupted, stinking mess. My walls were crumbled and I had to rebuild them. I soon became re-acquainted with the impossibility of living the life of a Christian without Christ. I had to repent and ask God to forgive me. He restored my life and my shattered soul. The cross wasn’t lighter, but I had His help to carry it. Still I avoided God’s call on my life. At this point I was certain that he could find someone better than me.

Bro. Tony continues his story in Part III.

Author: Bro. Tony Bell

Date: 01/10/2019

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